Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired

This past week has been rough, twice in one week I was in the ER, sick, vomiting with severe stomach pains! In the midst of all the pain, the enemy, ever busy, was really tormenting me! I admit, I was ready to give up! I haven't worked out in a week due to sickness, and the feeling of giving up was at an all time high!

I had allowed my diabetes to define who I was. My afflictions became my everyday focus. I awoke in the mornings and my first thought was on how crappy I felt. Soon my entire day consisted of how sick I was. I had allowed the enemy to come in and take my joy, my peace, my sound mind! But we know the Bible tells us in 2 Timothy 1:7, "God hasn't given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind."

This past Sunday, I woke with every intention of going to church to hear my long time pastor preach what may be his final message. I was feeling very nauseous and my first instinct was to stay home and have someone record the message for me. The Holy Spirit had other plans however. Fighting against my body, I pushed and I went to church.

By far that was the best decision I had made in a very long time!

During service, in fact right before my pastor started to speak, I had to excuse myself, because I felt sick. My sister came in and began to care for me. This was about the fifth time that day that I had thrown up! The pain in my stomach was becoming unbearable. She suggested to my husband that I go to the ER (she is a nurse). As I tried to calm myself, she began to pray for me. She began to pray for deliverance of all my afflictions, from fear, from worry, from doubt, from anxiety, from diabetes, from high blood pressure and cholesterol. Soon the Holy Spirit came in and took over.

Now, I have felt the Holy Spirit before and I have been baptized in the Holy Spirit (to some known as speaking in tongues), but this was different. My body began to shake and not from the sickness, I could not control it! I felt a stirring in my stomach that I have never felt before! Now in keeping with my transparency, I was actually sitting on the toilet because like I said, I was EXTREMELY sick, but if I had not been, I probably would have been running around the church! LOL!

Let me just take a minute once again to tell you just how evil and slick the devil can be! As I was praying and the Holy Spirit was moving, he still was trying to get a foothold in my deliverance! I could hear him telling me, "You aren't healed, tomorrow is a new day and the same afflictions and fear will be there. You are not worth healing. God is not healing you. You are not delivered." OK, now this just made me so ANGRY!!! I began to yell...and I am not exaggerating.."YOU ARE A LIAR!!!!" Over and over again!!! Soon the entire congregation was in prayer and God really began to move!

Something happened in that tiny bathroom of Home Church, God delivered me! I left church feeling weak, but encouraged! I did end up going to the ER to get some fluids and stronger nausea medication. However, on Monday morning, I woke up feeling better than I have felt in a long time!

I had what some call an epiphany...

I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED!!!

In that moment, I said a prayer asking God to forgive me for all the times I allowed the enemy to reign in my mind and spirit! I thanked Him for delivering me, for changing my mind set, for truly setting me free from the bondage of my afflictions! No longer will I allow the enemy to get the best of me! You know what I realized, God has a calling in my life, and the enemy DOES NOT want me to succeed on this journey! I've known this for a while, but for some reason this has finally taken root within my spirit!

So from this point on, I choose not to be a victim but a victor! I choose to turn this test in my life into a testimony!

We are all faced with trials in our lives, but the Word tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 in so many words that God knows our limits and He will not let us endure more than we can handle. Isn't that awesome news?! And given what we know about God's Word and it does not return void, we know we can trust in His words!

So whatever obstacles you may face, whether it be physically, mentally, or even spiritually, all you have to do is choose to be sick and tired of your situation and allow God to come in deliver you!

Why hasn't He yet? Matthew 7:7 says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and the door shall be open to you." So what does that tell you? All you have to do is connect with the Father and ask Him for deliverance. Ask Him for strength to endure on your personal journey.

Going forward, I can no longer allow my afflictions to affect to daily life. I will learn to deal with the diabetes, I will be victorious!

Remember whatever you are going through, you don't have to go through it alone! You just have to make the decision to be sick and tired and call on God and He will see you through! I read a quote today that said, "When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off, you sit still and trust the engineer." So who is the "engineer" of your life? Mine was fear, today it is Christ Jesus my Lord and my Savior in Him I put all my trust!

Until next week...be blessed!